Rabbi to Present at NewCAJE Conference

Rabbi Rachmiel Tobesman will present a session, Once Upon A Time To Comfort…Jewish Children And Grieving, at NewCaje Conference in Boston, MA  -  1-4 August  2010  

Coping up with the death of a loved one is hard enough, but dealing with it as a child is even harder.  Many Jewish children don’t understand the grieving process and are thrust into a world of shiva, levaya, and kaddish causing them even more confusion and frustration. Rabbi Rachmiel Tobesman will introduce activities, lessons and stories to guide children in changing such a gloomy moment into a time of discovery and healing.  

Death, grieving and mourning practices are often overlooked in the life cycle classes in many religious schools as the topic is hard to teach. Rabbi Tobesman will offer invaluable resources for educators, rabbis, parents and children that are filled with activities, stories and explanations,. These features help children to understand their feelings and the grieving process in the Jewish community. 

Please contact Project Shalom at projectshalom1@aol.com for more information

Prayer and the Safe

He who lets his voice be heard during prayer is thought to have little faith in the Holy One, blessed be He.  He who prays in a loud voice is a false prophet, as it is written:  “And they cried aloud.”  He who belches or yawns during prayer is considered arrogant.  Others say, he behaves badly and is ill-mannered. 

Berachos 24b 

A rich man suffered terribly as he could not sleep. Night after night, he lay awake in bed, as worries gnawed at his heart and did not permit him to relax. 

What worried him so? 

The rich man was a merchant who sold diamonds and other precious gems. Naturally he stored a massive amount of gems and cash in his home. 

“Indeed,” thought the rich man to himself, “my money and gems are hidden inside a large and sturdy safe; but what will be if a thief enters my home and terrorizes me into opening the safe? What will I do then?” 

This thought disturbed him greatly and he tossed and turned, unable to sleep night after night. 

One night, the rich man leaped from his bed in a state of joy, thinking that he had resolved his problem. 

He hired an expert safe maker, who constructed a wall within the safe. Behind the wall, the rich man hid most of his wealth, leaving only a small amount of cash and inexpensive gems in the actual safe. 

“If a thief will come now, G-d forbid,” thought the thief, “he will find only a pittance of money and the rest will be safely hidden away” 

From then on, the rich man slept soundly. 

When it comes to one’s Divine service, a person must act similarly. For if an individual serves his Creator visibly and publicly, he is likely to grow proud or incur an “evil eye.” The majority of a person’s Divine service should therefore he performed privately, and only a minute amount should he revealed to the public.

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Pride – Twice Sewn Suit

We learn from the Holy Writings:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways your ways” (Isa. 55:8). When a man has a vessel, he rejoices in it as long as it is whole and useful; when it is broken, he has no use for it. Now, what is the Holy One’s precious vessel? Man’s heart. When the Holy One sees a man proud in heart, He has no use for him, as is said, “Everyone that is proud in heart is an abomination to the L-rd” (Prov. 16:5). But when the heart is broken, He says, “This one is Mine,” as is said, “The L-rd is near to them that are of a broken heart” (Ps. 34:19).

There once lived a master Jewish tailor. Even the nobility, for miles around, came to have their clothing fashioned by his talented hand.

Once, a nobleman came to the tailor bring with him a bolt of cloth. Handing it to the tailor, he said, “This is very fine and expensive material; it comes all the way from the East. I want you to sew me a suit of clothes, but I want it to be well cut and tailored, to do justice to the fabric.”

“Am I not a master tailor?” laughed the tailor, as he received the material.

A few days later, when the tailor brought the suit for its first fitting, the nobleman was displeased with the result. “You’ve ruined the fine cloth!” he ranted. In a fit of anger, he threw the cloth at him and chased him out of his house.

After this incident, the tailor lost his good name. The other noblemen stopped patronizing him and he was soon starving. When his wife saw how poor they had become, she urged her husband to visit the holy rabbi of the town. “Many people are helped by him. Go to him; he will tell you what to do.”

The tailor followed his wife’s advice and went to the rabbi.

After the holy rabbi heard the tailor pour out his sad tale, he said to him, “This is what you must do. Take the very suit that you sewed for the nobleman. Rip out the seams, but sew them back in the same place. Then take the suit to him again.”

The tailor laughed inwardly at this suggestion, but followed it nevertheless. He had nothing to lose. When the suit was completed for the second time, he took it back to the poritz for his approval. This time, the nobleman was very pleased with the result. He praised the tailor highly and even gave him a gift of appeasement.

The tailor returned to the holy rabbi and told him what had happened.

“I realized,” said the holy rabbi, “that when you first sewed the garment, you felt a sense of exaggerated pride, as if your skill was beyond question. A thing done from pride lacks grace. That is why it failed to please the count. When you came to me, bowed and meek, no longer so self-confident in your skill, I told you to rip out the stitches and begin all over again. The second time you sewed it with humility and submission. And then the same garment suddenly became appealing!”

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

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