Jewish people from the time of antiquity have held an ideal standard for Jewish family life that is expressed in the term shalom bayis – Peace in the Home. Shalom bayis implies completeness, wholeness, and fulfillment. In this way, the traditional Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, nurturing, respect, and chesed (loving-kindness), through which a married couple becomes complete. It is believed that The Holy One, blessed be He’s presence dwells in a pure and loving home. (Sotah 17a)

A husband once came to a holy rabbi and told him that he was very angry at his wife and they had been arguing terribly. The holy rabbi thoughtfully asked the young man: “What had your wife done to get you so upset?”

“Every time I come home from work or learning,” the young man began, “I find the floor littered with things like toys, clothing, socks, you name it. These things belong in closets and drawers, not on the floor.”

The young man explained that he had always been an orderly person, and the mess was very annoying to him. “No matter what I tell my wife, it doesn’t help,” he said in frustration.

The holy rabbi thought for a moment or two and then answered the young man:

“Unfortunately, I have to tell you that you are like the people who complained about the manna in the desert. About people like you the Holy One, blessed be He cries, ‘See, you who come into the world, what My children complain about.’ The reason your house is a mess, with objects strewn all over the floor, is because the Holy One, blessed be He granted you children. Go into the home of a couple that does not yet have children, and you will see that everything is clean and in order. Everything is in its proper place. If the floor is washed once at the beginning of the week, it stays clean until the end of the week.”

“If your house is a mess, it’s because of the great chesed (loving-kindness) and mercy that the Holy One, blessed be He did for you. And that’s what you’re complaining about?”

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

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Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

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