Tam and Chacham were visited by many people as they prepared for Yom haDin – Day of Judgment, another name for Rosh Hashanah. The requests for prayer and blessings from people were steady. Life was hard with uncertain livelihood and the constant barrage of “modern” thought that challenged the age old wisdom. This was the season of hope and people were seeking advice and direction from Tam and Chacham.
An old man came to Tam and Chacham and requested, “I have reached a ripe old age, and thank Baruch Hashem am lacking nothing. Only one thing I want and that is that you should promise me that I will be granted forgiveness for the sins of my youth.”
Chacham thought for a moment and instructed the old man, “The RaMBaM (Maimonides) taught that ‘If a man transgresses, wittingly or unwittingly, any precept of the Torah, whether a positive precept or a negative, and repents and turns away from his wrongdoing, he is obliged to confess his sins to the Holy One, blessed be He. How does a man confess his sins? He says: ‘O G-d! I have sinned, I have committed iniquity, I have transgressed before You by doing such-and–such. Behold now I am sorry for what I have done and am ashamed and I shall never do it again.’ “ (Mishneh Torah: Hilchos. Teshuvah Chapter 1, Law 2)
Chacham continued, “You must light two candles – One for the heart and the other for the soul. Take upon yourself to fast for three days, during which you should pray with a broken heart:
Our G-d and G-d of our ancestors! Let our prayers come before You and do not hide Yourself from our supplication. For neither are we so arrogant nor hardened to say, “We are righteous and have not sinned,” for truly, truly, we have sinned. May it be Your will, O Lord our God, to forgive all our sins, and pardon all our iniquities.” (Ma’ariv l’Yom Kippur Service)
The old man looked at Chacham with tears in his eyes and said, “I will do the best I can to follow your directions, but I am a weak old man and am afraid I will not be able to complete all that you have told me.”
Tam saw the look in the old man’s eyes and asked, “do you truly regret the sins of your youth?”
“I am ashamed of what I did and now wish I could undo my sins. I wish I could ask for forgiveness, but there is no one to ask as many have gone on to the World of Truth.” Answered the old man.
Tam reminded the old man, “Yom Kippur does not forgive transgressions between a man and his fellow — until (or unless) he seeks forgiveness from him” (Mishnah Yoma 8:9), but the first step is to forgive yourself. Only then can you truly express regret and seek forgiveness.”
The old man, his face streaked with tears whispered, “I really regret my foolish acts and wish I could take them back.”
“If you regret the sins of your youth completely, then that secures their forgiveness.” Tam responded.
“And what in your eyes is the required measure of remorse?” asked the old man.
Tam thought for some time and then began, “”Let me tell you a story, there once was a wealthy merchant who was in a rush to arrive at the big fair in the city before all the other merchants, and the wagonloads of goods that he brought with him were very much in demand.
The day he arrived in the city it began to rain. The rain and wind was so bad, that for a number of days no other merchant was able to bring his merchandise to the fair. All the prospective customers therefore milled around his stand. Seeing how intense was the demand, he decided to keep them all waiting for a few days so that the price would rise. And indeed, from day to day the rain fell harder and day by day the price rose higher. Then in the middle of the night the rain stopped. Before dawn the marketplace was clattering with all the wagons that were trundling in from all over the land and the price of his goods dropped instantly.
“Now, then,” concluded Tam. “if you find that your remorse over the sins of your youth is as intense as the regret of that merchant when he realized how much his greed had cost him, then you may be sure that your regret is sufficient to secure you forgiveness.”
The old man asked, “I am really sorry for the pain caused by the sins of my youth, but wonder can I surely be forgiven? How can I be sure that I can be forgiven?”
Tam answered, “As soon as one repents, one is forgiven. (Chagigah 5a) This is why we sing the ancient words:
אבנו מלכנו חננו ועננו כי אין בנו עשים עשה עשה עמנו צדקה וחסד והשענו
Avinu Malkeinu Choneinu Vaaneinu Ki ein Banu Maasim Ase Imanu Tzdaka Vahesed Vehoshieinu
Our Father, our King! be gracious unto us and answer us, for we have no good works of our own; deal with us in charity and kindness, and save us.
May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)
If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more Rosh Hashanah stories see below:
A Prescription for Life
Philmont, Horses and Rosh haShanah
Rosh haHashanah: Forgiving A Debt
The Deaf Man of the Shul
The Dirty Treasure
How to be Forgiven of Sin
Repentance and the Captive Prince
Repentance Out of Love
The Humble Request of the King’s Son
The King, the Thief the True Penitant
A Rock and the King’s Greatness
Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)