…people without understanding comes to ruin. (Hosea 4:14)

The greatest gift that the Holy One, blessed be He gave to man was the ability to speak and communicate. Yet it is also the undoing of many, though we may speak the same language and believe that certain things need no explanation we still do not understand one another. It is so common in today’s world for people to talk at one another instead of to one another.

A shepherd was once strolling through a meadow behind his wandering sheep. As he walked, he played a merry tune on his flute. In a nearby field, a harvester was cutting sweet clover and loading it upon a wagon to take home for cattle feed. The harvester and the shepherd did not know one another, nor could they communicate, since they spoke different languages. And so each tended to his own business, while casting curious glances at one another from time to time.

Noon came and the sun was at its highest point. The shepherd looked longingly in the distance to see if his daughter was approaching with his lunch, as she did each day at this time. Sadly, there was no one in sight. A long time passed and he began to worry. “I must go home and see if everything is all right,” he said to himself.

He walked towards the harvester in the next field. “Listen here, my friend,” he said, accompanying his words with elaborate gestures to make sure the other understood, “I must go home for a short while and leave the sheep here. I cannot take them with me because it would take too much time to herd them together and get them moving. If I go, I will run both ways and be back in a hurry. Please keep an eye on the sheep. Don’t let them run away. They are resting now. I am sure they will give you no trouble. They are easy creatures to handle.”

The harvester heard the words but did not understand a single one. He interpreted the shepherd’s gestures in a far different manner than intended: “You are harvesting all that hay that grows so plentifully in the field while my sheep lie here where the grass is scant. Won’t you cut some down for them, too?”

This aroused the harvester’s anger. “That is very impudent of you! You sit at your leisure under the tree and expect others to do your work for you under the blazing sun? Go! Begone with you!” and with that, he gave a wave of his hand.

This sign of dismissal was clear to the shepherd. He interpreted it to mean: “Go home, if you must. I will keep an eye on your sheep, since I am here anyway.”

His heart set at ease, the shepherd went home, stayed a while and returned a short while later. How happy he was to see the sheep grazing quietly and contentedly as if he had been there all the while.

“How decent it was of the harvester to look after them,” he thought to himself. “I must give him something in appreciation.” He looked about him and wondered what would be suitable.

His eyes fell upon a little lamb that limped a bit. If he sold it, it would not fetch much. But as a gift . . .

He tied a rope about its neck and began leading it to the adjoining field.

“Good day, my friend,” he said. “I wanted to thank you for the favor you did to me. Here, take this lamb as a sign of my gratitude.” He held the string out to the harvester.

The harvester did not understand a single word, as before, and misunderstood the shepherd’s meaning. He thought he meant: “I asked you to watch my sheep and look what happened! This lamb became lame, thanks to you!”

The harvester was understandably insulted and turned to the shepherd. “How dare you come to me with complaints? Am I to blame? You are the one who left the sheep untended. What do you want from me?”

The shepherd thought that the harvester was dissatisfied with the gift.

He picked up the lamb to show him that it was really a decent gift, indeed. “See,” he gestured, “it is fat and healthy. The only thing wrong with it is its leg. It will make a tasty meal, I am sure!” He again pointed to the broken foot as if to say that that was its only defect.

Seeing the shepherd harping on the broken foot convinced the harvester that the shepherd was again accusing him of being negligent. Fuming, he shouted, “Leave me be, idiot! What business is it of mine?” And he shoved the shepherd backwards.

Shocked by such coarse behavior, the shepherd stepped forward and pushed the harvester. Before long, the two were pummeling one another with heavy blows.

Along came a traveler, hot and dusty from the road. Noticing a horse wandering in the field untethered, he was curious to see if it belonged to anyone, since he wished to ride it a bit. Seeing no one about, he decided to climb on its back for the time being, and ask questions later. He rode on until he came upon the two quarreling men. When they saw the stranger, they ran up to him, grabbed hold of the reins, and asked him to dismount, so that he could resolve their dispute.

The rider, who did not understand either of the two, was sure that they were the owners of the horse demanding an explanation for his having appropriated their animal. Afraid of punishment, he leaped off and ran away.

The remaining two were sure that he had gone off to get help and were afraid of getting into trouble. Both fled as well; the shepherd urging his sheep forward and the harvester shouldering his tools.

The scene returned to its pastoral serenity, with only the horse left to graze upon the delicious clover.

As for the three men, each ran off in different directions, feeling disappointed and frustrated.

The shepherd could not understand why the harvester had been so insulted at the gift he had offered. Had he owed him anything to begin with?

The harvester did not understand why the shepherd blamed him for the sheep’s broken leg, when he had not been to blame.

And the traveler wondered why the two men had attacked him for taking a ride on an untethered horse. He had not meant to steal it!

Each of the three was convinced that he was right. How, then, had such a misunderstanding resulted?

The reason is very simple: Each one interpreted the other’s actions according to his own way of thinking. No one tried to understand what the other was saying. Lack of communication was to blame for this argument.

We do speak the same language as our friends and acquaintances. Nevertheless, we still misinterpret one another’s true meaning and intent.These misunderstandings can often lead to ill feelings, quarrels and even blows.

The most important thing to remember and keep it in mind and you never can miss: Make an effort to really understand, not making your conclusions beforehand.

Such are the thoughts of one devoid of understanding; a senseless and misguided person thinks foolishly. (Sirach 16:23)

(Adapted from the Ben Ish Chai)

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

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Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

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