Excerpt from A Time to Separate, A Time to Come Together…..

Anger and embarrassment is a terrible thing.  It seems that sometimes parents can stay angry at one another forever, but this is not so. It is written in the Book of Isaiah that:

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From this verse in the Prophets we learn of the story of

Rabbi Yose and his Wife

“That you hide not yourself from your own flesh.” These words apply to the divorced wife of Rabbi Yose the Galilean from whom he did not hide.

Rabbi Yose the Galilean had a mean wife, who used to put him down and embarrass him in front of his students. When his students said to him, “Master, divorce this woman, for she does not treat you with proper respect,” he replied, “The marriage settlement (get) I would have to pay her is more than I can afford, so I cannot divorce her”

One time, he and Rabbi Eleazar ben Azariah were sitting and studying, and when they finished, Rabbi Yose asked Rabbi Eleazar, “Will the master come with me to my house?” Rabbi Eleazar said, ‘Yes.” As they entered, Rabbi Yose’s wife lowered her face rudely ignoring the guest. When Rabbi Yose noticed a pot standing on the stove and asked her, “Is there anything cooking in the pot?” she replied, “There is only hash in it.” Upon uncovering the pot, however, he found it full of plump chicks. Rabbi Eleazar ben Azariah was in this way made aware that Rabbi Yose’s wife was not at peace with her husband.

So, as they sat together eating, he observed, “Master, did she not say it was hash? Yet we found chicks in the pot.” Rabbi Yose: “The chicks are here because of a miracle.” When they finished eating and drinking, Rabbi Eleazar said to Rabbi Yose, “Master, divorce this woman, for she does not treat you with proper respect.” Rabbi Yose replied, “The marriage settlement I would have to pay is more than I can afford, so I cannot divorce her” Rabbi Eleazar: “I will give her the marriage settlement due her” So Rabbi Yose divorced her and was soon married to another woman, who was respectful and kind.

The divorced wife’s mean ways brought it about that she married the town watchman, a man below her station. After some time, the watchman suffered many problems and sickness. Because of his troubles  he lost his job and soon became blind.

His wife had to hold him by the hand and lead him around all the neighborhoods of the town to beg for alms. When she reached Rabbi Yose the Galilean’s neighborhood, she stopped and turned back. Since her husband was very familiar with all sections of the town, he said to her, “Why don’t you lead me to Rabbi Yose the Galilean’s neighborhood? He, I heard, gives much to charity.” She replied, “I am his divorced wife, and I cannot bring myself to face him.”

Once, after making the rounds of the entire town and being given nothing, they reached the neighborhood of Rabbi Yose the Galilean, and again she stopped. When her husband realized why she stopped, he began to beat her, and the noise they made drew the attention of many in the marketplace. Just then, Rabbi Yose happened to look out and, seeing them exposed to public shame in this way, asked the husband, “Why are you beating her?” He replied, “Because every day she causes me the loss of money from this neighborhood.” Upon hearing this, Rabbi Yose took them and settled them in a house he owned, and provided for all their needs for the rest of their lives.

The voice of the poor woman was heard at night to say, “It was easier for me to have and bear the blows of my husband than the pain to accept the charity of Rabbi Yose.  The first only injured my body, but the latter touched my very soul within me.”

Y. Ketubos 11:3, 34b; Genesis Rabbah 17:3; Leviticus Rabbah 34:14

Each chapter in A Time to Separate, A Time to Come Together by Rabbi Rachmiel Tobesman teaches children important skills to cope with the traditions and confusion so common when parents divorce. Divorce does not mean the family will be separated forever. There will come a time that the family will come together again. This unique workbook is filled with many activities and much more, which makes it an invaluable resource for parents and children. It will help you grow closer to your parents and family. As you fill this book, it becomes your own—a special treasure that you can keep forever…

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A Time to Separate, A Time to Come Together

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