It is taught that the reward for fulfilling the mitzvah, a religious deed, of honoring one’s parents “so that your days may be long” (Exodus 20: 12)
The rabbi of the village was loved and respected by everyone. He had many students who not only learned from his words but also his actions. His mother lived in the same village, and he visited her once a week to fulfill the commandment to honor one’s mother. His father had already passed away and she was a widow, but she looked forward to her son’s weekly visits.
Whenever he went to visit his mother, he would sit at the table with her on Shabbos kodesh (the holy Sabbath day). During one visit, he was sitting together with his mother, and the many students who had gathered to be with him crowded around the table. His mother asked him, “Zin kenen ir bite brengen mir a glaz fun vaser (Son, could you please bring me some water)?”
Immediately, a student jumped up to bring the water. The student wanted to help his teacher and did not want him to interrupt his lesson since it is taught that serving a holy teacher does more to elevate a person spiritually than even learning his teachings.
But the rabbi’s mother did not drink the water; she left the glass untouched in front of her on the table. She said, “Zin, ich hab gebet’n az ir zalt nemen mir das vaser, (Son, I asked you to get me the water.)”
The holy rabbi got up and went quickly to bring his mother the water.
She then said, “der emes iz, ich bin nisht darshtik. ich hob dir nor gebet’n, men zol nemen mir dos vaser, k’di di zechus zoln zayn di mitzvah un geveynen a lange lebn. (The truth is, I’m not thirsty. I only asked you to get me the water so you could have the merit of doing the mitzvah and gaining long life.)”
Then she turned to the students around the table and said, “Ir ton nisht zechus tzu hobn kinder vi meyn zin durch makhn a goldene yoich mit knaidelach (You don’t merit to have sons like my Yitzhak by making golden chicken soup)!”
The rabbi fulfilled the commandment to honor one’s mother — by visiting her. His pious mother, wanted to give him a further opportunity to earn the mitzvah — by personally serving her. Just as there is a spiritual reward for personally serving one’s rabbi, there is a reward for serving one’s parents. The Torah (Scriptures) specifies that the reward for honoring our parents is long life.
Loving service to a parent by even the least act, such as bringing a glass of water, extends the parent’s life. A parent lives longer when loved and honored by their children. A child also lives longer when they honors their parents — because their vital energies are being properly channeled.
We are taught that the Torah’s reward of “length of days” for honoring parents in still another way, saying it means that each day will be long because we will live so fully. We are only really alive when we are in touch with our soul. We are so much our parents that only someone who honors his parents can be truly in touch with themself; if you despise your parents, you are despising yourself. For a person who becomes more spiritually “whole” by honoring their parents, each day becomes “long” because it is full of real life; they are more in touch with their spiritual well-being. The rabbi’s mother gave him a chance to honor her because she wanted him to live long both physically and spiritually.
In her final words, the rabbi’s mother wanted to explain to her son’s students her peculiar action in asking for water and not drinking it. She expressed herself humorously, but she wanted them to realize that all of her actions concerning her holy son, when he was a child or now, were intentional and deep, to seek his good in every possible way.
May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)
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Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)