In today’s society, there are many factors and issues that must be considered before granting a divorce. The seriousness of divorce affects the physical and spiritual aspects of the family so much that the sages of old taught, “If a man divorces his wife, the very alter weeps.” (Gittin 90b)
There was once a rabbi who was so learned that he could see every side of a question. One day a man came to him with the request that he grant him a divorce.
“What do you hold against your wife?” asked the rabbi gravely.
The man went into a lengthy explanation of his wife’s many faults.
The rabbi patiently listened to the man and thought, “Beis Hillel says: He may divorce her even due to a minor issue, e.g., because she burned or over-salted his dish, as it is stated: “Because he has found some unseemly matter in her,” meaning that he found any type of shortcoming in her.” (Mishnah Gittin 9:10) If you are so unhappy, then you can divorce your wife,” the rabbi said after listening to what the man said.
the rabbi then spoke to the woman. “Are you unhappy in your marriage, asked the rabbi.
The woman in detailed the cruel mistreatment and abuse she had suffered at her husband’s hands.
The rabbi listened with understandable distress.
“You are right, it would not be fair to continue the marriage,” he said after some thought. There is guidance in this as it is brought down, “If a woman says ‘My husband is distasteful to me, I can not live with him.’ The beis din (rabbinic court) compels the husband to divorce her, because a wife is not a captive” (RaMbaM, Yad Ishus 14.8)
At this the rabbi’s wife, who was present, exclaimed, “How can this be?
Surely, both of them couldn’t be right! ” The rabbi thought for a few moments, knitted his brows and reflected. “You’re right, too! ” He agreed.
May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)
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