Tam and Chacham taught many students and frequently they were asked about how people treated one another. Once students were discussing a prayer that says, “Open our eyes to Your Torah, help our hearts to cleave to Your commandments. Unite all our thoughts to love and revere You. Then shall we never be brought to shame (v’lo nayvosh l’olam va’ed)” (Siddur).
One student shared that the TaNaCh asked, “Have we not all one father? Has not one G-d created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother…?)” (Malachi 2:10) He continued, “Why must many find ways to shame others in public? Aren’t we taught that ‘He who shames his fellow man in public… has no portion in the world-to-come.’ (Pirke Avos 3:15)”
Another student responded, “We learn ‘let the honour of your fellow-man be as dear to you as your own, and do not be easy to anger’ (Pirke Avos 2:15). If we treated everyone with respect and honour so they would not be shamed, less people would be angered by shame and embarrassment. If one would remember and consider ‘Who is honoured? He that honours his fellow men’ (Pirke Avos 4:1) the world would be a much better place.’ “
Chacham listened to the students as they searched for meaning and understanding about the honour and respect to be shown to everyone. After some time, he raised his hand and the room became quiet as the students eagerly waited for him to speak.
Many knew that he and Tam had very different views on matters concerning public behavior and the treatment of one another. He began by describing Tam’s respect for every individual as being unequaled. Tam did not discriminate between people, but honoured everyone equally, regardless of a person’s background or beliefs. Never did Tam say a disrespectful word.
Chacham recounted that he was once walking in the forest with Tam when a man with a severe speech impediment approached them to ask for directions to a doctor’s house that could treat him and possibly improve or cure his speech problems. Feeling uneasy about leaving Tam alone on the road, he directed the man to the doctor’s house by pointing out the way.
Tam asked Chacham if they could walk with the man all the way to the doctor’s house. Chacham asked why Tam felt it important to escort the man to his destination. Tam explained that he did not want the man to have to ask someone else for directions lest he be too embarrassed to reveal his speech Impediment to yet another person.
“Why is this so important? Asked Chacham, “The Torah (Scriptures) says ‘I (Moses) am not eloquent…but am slow of speech and tongue.’ (Exodus 4:10) it was not an issue to the Holy One, blessed be He.”
Tam answered, “Moses was not ashamed because he was speaking to G-d. He approached us because he saw two men dressed as rabbis and felt secure that we would not mock him. I wanted to save his having to ask again and thereby spare him any unnecessary embarrassment.”
Chacham turned to the students and reminded them of the prayer:
“May it be Your will, O Eternal our G-d and G-d of our ancestors, that no hatred against any person come into our hearts, and no hatred against us come into the hearts of any other person, and may none be jealous of us, and may we not be jealous of any; and may Your law be our labor all the days of our lives, and may our words be as supplications before You.” (Talmud Yerushalmi, Berachos 4.2)
May it be the will of the Holy One, blessed be He that you should not embarrass others and not be embarrassed yourself? (Moed Katan 9b)
May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)
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Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)
Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us
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