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Tag: shame

Respect and Shame of Another

Posted on Monday, 5, October, 2020Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

“And Moses said to the L-rd, O my L-rd, I am not eloquent, neither yesterday nor the day before, nor since you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” (Exodus 4:10)

The holy rabbi’s respect for every individual was unparalleled, he did not discriminate between people, but honored everyone equally, regardless of a person’s background or beliefs. He was careful to never utter a disrespectful word.

One day the holy rabbi and a student were walking in the woods learning how man needs to live with nature and not exploit the creation the Holy One, blessed be He provided for all people. Along the path, a confused old man with a speech impediment approached them to ask for directions to a local specialist. The holy rabbi and the student recognized the old man as the quiet porter from the village.

Feeling uneasy about leaving the holy rabbi alone on the forest path, the student decided to direct the man to the specialist by pointing out the way. The holy rabbi stopped his student and then asked to escort the man all the way to his destination while he waited for him.

When the student returned, the holy rabbi explained that he did not want the man to have to ask someone else for directions lest he be too embarrassed to reveal his speech impediment to yet another person. “He approached us because he saw two men dressed as rabbis and felt secure that we would not mock him. I wanted to save his having to ask again and thereby spare him any unnecessary embarrassment.”

“How so?” asked the student. “Do we not learn Besides ‘humiliation is worse than physical pain.’” (Sotah 8b) and that ‘shaming another in public is like shedding blood’? (Bava Metzia 58b) answered the holy rabbi.

“when a Torah becomes unfit for use because the words are blurred or missing, we don’t discard it, or a man of learning forgets the detailed teachings we don’t laugh or ridicule him.” continued the holy rabbi.

“Instead we ‘respect an old man who has lost his learning through no fault of his own. The fragments of the Tablets broken by Moshe were kept in the Ark of the Covenant alongside the new.’” (Berachos 8b)

May the Holy One Blessed be He grant that you neither shame nor be shamed (Moed Katan 9b)

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Ahavas Yisro-l, Derech Eretz, Faith, Stories, Uncategorized, WisdomTagged Bava Metzia 58b, Berachos 8b, embarrassment, Exodus 4:10, honor, honour, Moed Katan 9b, Pirkei Avos 2:15, Pirkei Avos 4:1, Respect, shame, Sotah 8b, speech impedimentLeave a Comment on Respect and Shame of Another

He Who Shames Another Has No Portion in the World to Come

Posted on Wednesday, 11, December, 2019Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

Tam and Chacham taught many students and frequently they were asked about how people treated one another. Once students were discussing a prayer that says, “Open our eyes to Your Torah, help our hearts to cleave to Your commandments. Unite all our thoughts to love and revere You. Then shall we never be brought to shame (v’lo nayvosh l’olam va’ed)” (Siddur).

One student shared that the TaNaCh asked, “Have we not all one father? Has not one G-d created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother…?)” (Malachi 2:10) He continued, “Why must many find ways to shame others in public? Aren’t we taught that ‘He who shames his fellow man in public… has no portion in the world-to-come.’ (Pirke Avos 3:15)”

Another student responded, “We learn ‘let the honour of your fellow-man be as dear to you as your own, and do not be easy to anger’ (Pirke Avos 2:15). If we treated everyone with respect and honour so they would not be shamed, less people would be angered by shame and embarrassment. If one would remember and consider ‘Who is honoured? He that honours his fellow men’ (Pirke Avos 4:1) the world would be a much better place.’ “

Chacham listened to the students as they searched for meaning and understanding about the honour and respect to be shown to everyone. After some time, he raised his hand and the room became quiet as the students eagerly waited for him to speak.

Many knew that he and Tam had very different views on matters concerning public behavior and the treatment of one another. He began by describing Tam’s respect for every individual as being unequaled. Tam did not discriminate between people, but honoured everyone equally, regardless of a person’s background or beliefs. Never did Tam say a disrespectful word.

Chacham recounted that he was once walking in the forest with Tam when a man with a severe speech impediment approached them to ask for directions to a doctor’s house that could treat him and possibly improve or cure his speech problems. Feeling uneasy about leaving Tam alone on the road, he directed the man to the doctor’s house by pointing out the way.

Language

Tam asked Chacham if they could walk with the man all the way to the doctor’s house. Chacham asked why Tam felt it important to escort the man to his destination. Tam explained that he did not want the man to have to ask someone else for directions lest he be too embarrassed to reveal his speech Impediment to yet another person.

“Why is this so important? Asked Chacham, “The Torah (Scriptures) says ‘I (Moses) am not eloquent…but am slow of speech and tongue.’ (Exodus 4:10) it was not an issue to the Holy One, blessed be He.”

Tam answered, “Moses was not ashamed because he was speaking to G-d. He approached us because he saw two men dressed as rabbis and felt secure that we would not mock him. I wanted to save his having to ask again and thereby spare him any unnecessary embarrassment.”

Chacham turned to the students and reminded them of the prayer:

“May it be Your will, O Eternal our G-d and G-d of our ancestors, that no hatred against any person come into our hearts, and no hatred against us come into the hearts of any other person, and may none be jealous of us, and may we not be jealous of any; and may Your law be our labor all the days of our lives, and may our words be as supplications before You.” (Talmud Yerushalmi, Berachos 4.2)

May it be the will of the Holy One, blessed be He that you should not embarrass others and not be embarrassed yourself? (Moed Katan 9b)

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Chanukah

The Season of Lights – Chanukah is coming very quickly as it begins at Sundown On December 22, 2019. Most people in the Jewish communities throughout the world can rattle off a list of Chanukah traditions such as lighting the menorah each night; playing dreidel games; eating foods cooked in oil (latkes and Sufganiot); and exchanging gifts.

An age old tradition is telling stories in the glow of the Chanukah menorah. The stories tell of greatness, nobility, and wisdom while at the same time raising the hopes for a better tomorrow.

The very backdrop to the spiritual stories is attractive to its readers allowing one to peek into the beliefs, and lifestyles of a vanishing age of a faraway world and reminding them that the messages are eternal – just as strong today as they were yesterday.

The book, Story Tour: The Journey Begins will remind readers of forgotten stories of faith that strengthen and reaffirm hope for a better world.

Buy a copy of Story Tour: The Journey Begins as a gift for someone special today. Story Tour: The Journey Begins is available from the publisher, Xlibris, Booksamillion, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon

Posted in Derech Eretz, friendship, language, lashon harah, Other Stories and thoughts, Rabbi's thoughts and teaching, Stories, Tam and Chacham, UncategorizedTagged embarassment, Jewish, Malachi 2:10, Middos, Moed Katan 9b, pirke avos, Pirke Avos 2:15, Pirke Avos 3:15, Pirke Avos 4:1, Prayer, shame, speech, Talmud Yerushalmi Berachos 4.2Leave a Comment on He Who Shames Another Has No Portion in the World to Come

Shamed for Charity

Posted on Monday, 10, December, 2018Wednesday, 21, September, 2022 by Rabbi

There was a very wise and learned man who was very wealthy. Everyday he went into the market and shouted: “Alms…Alms…Give me alms, for I need them!” At the end of the day he gave all the money he collected to any one in need.

When the poor asked for alms, people gave them nothing and tried to avoid them. The wealthy scholar reminded the people: “He who refuses the poor the aid which he has the power to give, is accountable to justice. (Against Apion ii:27, Josephus)” The wise man continued: “ are we not taught, ‘Happy is he that considers the poor’ (Ps. 41:2) Look here are my poor, give me and I shall give to them,” the people gave nothing.

Charity tzedakah

Someone answered, “They are dirty and they smell. I want little to do with them.” The wealthy man answered, “If there is among you anyone in need, a member of your community in any of your towns … do not be hard-hearted or tight-fisted toward your needy neighbor.” (Deuteronomy 15:7)

Again a voice sounded, “Why should we be bothered?” They wealthy man responded, “Have we not all one father? Has not one G-d created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother…? (Malachi 2:10) We are bound by belief and faith to care for the less fortunate.”

The wise man continued everyday to stand on the street calling: ” Alms…Alms…Give me alms, for I need them!,” and he have all the money he collected to the poor.

Saddened, the scholar explained: “Charity demands the utmost care and diligence, for it may save a life. (Tur Yoreh Deah #242 (13th cent.) For there is a shame that leads to sin, and there is a shame that brings honour. (ben Sira 4:21) It is better that I should shame myself and say that I am in need, in order that I should enable the poor to live with dignity.”

One day a beggar came to the wealthy man and asked for some assistance. The wealthy man welcomed the ragged beggar into his house and fed him a meal. He asked the beggar what he needed and gave him money.

A smile spread across the face of the beggar as he took the hand of the wealthy man into his and blessed him, “May it be the will of the Holy One, blessed be He that you should not embarrass others and not be embarrassed yourself.”(Moed Katan 9b)

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Faith, Rabbi's thoughts and teaching, Stories, UncategorizedTagged charity, Deuteronomy 15:7.Malachi 2:10, Jewish Stories, Moed Katan 9, Psalms 41:2, Rabbi Rock, Rachmiel Tobesman, shame, Tur Yoreh Deah #242, tzedakahLeave a Comment on Shamed for Charity

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