Mlubarsky raises a good question in her comment to the post, Creation of the Perfect Woman:
Rabbi,
I remember you telling that story to my Hebrew School class in 1992. It made me feel good about being a Jewish girl (I’m now a woman), but no one else taught the way you did. I have heard from Rabbis and teachers that religious Jewish women are treated badly and not respected.
I appreciate your opinion, but can you explain why, if we have such great stories, are Jewish women treated the way they are?
The teachings about women go beyond the stories.
Every Friday evening as Jewish families welcome the holy Sabbath Day, a portion od Proverbs are read even before Kiddush that begins:
A woman of valor who can find, for her value is far above that of rubies. Proverbs 31:10
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And continues to praise the many merits of women. It is held that the true blessings and goodness come to the family and community through the actions of the women:
We read: “He will bless the House of Israel” (Tehillim 115:12), namely, the women. “He will bless the House of Aaron,” namely, their women. He will bless them that fear the L-rd,” namely the man. Zohar, IV 117b
We learn that Hashem has endowed women with a special sense of wisdom which man which lacks. (Niddah 45a) And that the sanctity of the family and community is through the women. In fact the many trials and sins of the generation of the wilderness was opposed by the women who tried to undo the damage caused by the Golden Calf and the frequent challenges to the holoy One, blessed be He. This is why it is taught that “the custom of women is Torah.” (Y. Pesachim 4.1)
The question you raise is not one of spirit or belief, but one of culture and society. Unfortunately as people have drifted away from the holy teachings and embraced the ways of the material world and the values of the prevailing society, the mistreatment of women has manifested itself to such and extent that one can no longer distinguish between the holy teachings and the ways of man.
May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)
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Cheers pal. I do appreciate the witring.
I think that people are reacting viscerally to the bus incident picturing the segregation issues of America circa MLK era where Blacks had to give up their seats for Whites. On the male/female seperated buses NO ONE is making a woman give up her seat in deference to a man. There are merely 2 sections just as there are in an orthodox synagogue.
It’s actually not a sign of disrespect to the women but rather a sign of their power and if anything it demonstrates how weak men are. Part of what a religious woman does is help men succeed by removing the proverbial stumbling block.
And if you think I am exaggerating review what most political scandals are about!
I am a gentile Christian woman – a lot older than you are! – and have experienced the same disconnect between scripture and cultural assumption regarding my role as a woman. For example, people have been all to ready to hammer women with the pieces of the letters of Paul that talk about submissive wives and silent women and completely ignore the the equally- inspired and authoritative passages that clearly say husbands should treat their wives well and husbands and wives should become like one flesh. The holy record includes references to female prophets and stories of women leading and serving and behaving like disciples. Yet those are ignored as well in an effort to restrict the roles of women. Too many people have tried to make “different” into “inferior,” a problem that affects many human relationships, I think. But the whole scripture teaches the value of all, and the beauty of respecting all people. We need to keep sounding that message! thank you! Karen
Shalom, this question is actually for Shana. I am an old student of your father’s and remember him bringing you to school when you were very young. (the principal got really angry at your father for that and his Yiddish lessons at Hebrew School. Go figure)
Here’s my question: Rabbi T taught us about the importance of Jewish women, and how special they are. With all the controversy in Israel about the treatment of women what are your feelings.
I figured that you, the daughter of a Rabbi would have a unique view on this that many of us don’t have. So here it is, What do you think?
Shalom,
It is good to hear from you, as we both enjoy hearing and answering questions. To answer you, it is a very complex answer with many different elements and cover many different concepts. In my own beliefs, their is a very distinct difference between the way women are treated and the way they are portrayed in the Jewish religion. In the Jewish faith, woman are never explained as being beneath, or of a lower class than the men. We can look upon several situations in where woman are in fact shown with great strengths and are treated with much respect. The Torah regards men and women as having different roles, but as equals. In many cases, women are already on a higher spiritual level than men. There are many strong, respected female figures within the Torah. The Torah praises women and identifies their role as essential to the spiritual well being and continuity of Judaism. To cite but two examples:
“It was taught: He who has no wife dwells without good, without help, without joy, without blessing, and without atonement.” (Bereshis Rabbah)
“It once happened that a pious man was married to a pious woman; they arose and divorced each other. The former went and married a wicked woman, and she made him wicked, while the latter went and married a wicked man, and made him righteous. This proves that all depends on the woman.” (Bereshis Rabbah)
Shabbos is also a time to celebrate the woman. It is the woman’s job to bring in and welcome in Shabbos, and a hymn is sung in her honor.
What I believe to be the issue is that there is a distinct line between what is culture influence, and what is Religious influence. Over the years and depending on place, the society dictates a certain criterion. Over time, these cultural influences have been adopted and sometimes fuzz the barrier between what we do for Religious and Traditional purposes, and what we do because it is typical of our surroundings. It has frustrated me to know end because there is many problems among many Jewish circles and communities, where women can in fact treated like second class citizens. It was hard for me to assert myself in such an environment. I see myself as having a very independent way of thinking, and so I often questioned myself in these situations because of the lack of positive surroundings. There were times where I felt ignored and alone. What did it mean to be a Jewish woman? I had to take a step back and consider what I knew of those around me, and what I knew of myself. Having a father who is deeply understanding, I was raised knowing that certain things weren’t because the Torah told us to be subjective and submissive. Knowing these things, it confused and frustrated me to know that those around me were not following the teachings of Judaism, but parroting society.
My father has always been supportive of me, and has always left things to my own discretion. He never tried to sway me one way or another, but let me come to my own conclusions. People around me always seemed contradictory in their ways, speaking about living religiously, but then doing something differently, be it for convenience or lack of understanding. Because of this, I have come to my own conclusions on what it is to be a Jewish woman. I am very proud to be a part of the Jewish faith, and even prouder be be a woman. Despite what society may bare to us, I remain faithful to my own beliefs and let them guide me instead of those around me. What is good for me, is what affects me. I believe that one has to have faith in themselves before they can look at others around them. There is so much beauty in the Jewish woman, and unless one has faith and love instilled in themselves, one cannot get over the barriers that stand in their way. Many times it is our own self that create these limitations, and asking questions and learning are what widen those invisible lines of our perception.
I appreciate you taking the time to write to me, and I hope that you are doing very well. I hope I answered your question in my own words. Being Jewish is a big part of my life and I am always open for discussion and questions.
Thank you and Shalom,
Shoshanah