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Tag: death

A Daughter’s Memory

Posted on Monday, 5, December, 2022Wednesday, 2, August, 2023 by Rabbi

She was traveling to far away places, trying to find herself. She had a loving family and could not wait to tell them of her adventures. One day she received a letter from her mother that forever changed her life. Her father died in a tragic accident.

She sat devasted thinking, she was too young to be without a father, and yet she was.

He was too young to die, and yet he did.

All the answers to all the questions she hadn’t asked him, were now lost forever, because she believed he would always be there for her

She closed her eyes and in her mind’s eye she saw him, old but never frail, many years from now, always ready whenever she needed him to console her, advise her, disapprove of her latest boyfriend.

Instead, she found herself journeying back home, unable to stem the flow of tears that seemed to come without her even realizing it half the time.

she cried constantly, not eating because in her grief she wasn’t hungry. It seemed the closer she got to home the darker the world became, and she cried more.

The sun was out in full force, such a lovely day it angered her, it should have been pelting down with rain, hail, thunder, something to match the storm going on inside, but nothing, and so she cried some more.

grief stories
People gathered in full force to come and say goodbye, and she saw people she never knew crying for beloved father, so many people, the casket was lowered into the grave and her heart seemed to sink into the earth at the moment. She was so glad for the many people that shared this pain with her, it is so heavy upon her shoulders she needed others to carry her for a while.

In the days after the funeral, the fog of grief and sadness slowly cleared and she began to feel like herself. At times, she was angry at him for leaving, even though he never wanted to leave. Mostly, she was angry at herself for letting so many so many opportunities to spend time with her father, learn from him, talk to him.

She won’t get another chance to do so, but she can still hear him talk to her, she knows what he would say when she makes unwise decisions or when she just needs advice. Her father’s voice now has more authority than ever, because she has a debt to pay to him, she owes him big time.

A thing like this rips your heart. It is unexplainable in words alone, unless you have been there yourself. A person can imagine the pain of losing someone they love, but reality surpasses all imagination, and how she wishes it wasn’t so.

Her father loved to talk, discuss, and teach, he would get you into a conversation and before you knew it was the wee hours of the morning, your cheeks burning, your mouth yawning but your mind still racing to keep up with him and his arguments.

Her father taught her to question things, to not take anything for granted, to strive to be a better person, and she wanted to tell you he was here, sorry you missed him…

May all your tales end with Shalom (Peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Read more Stories to Console  and for more Grief and Mourning resources for adults and children including thoughts and meditations, stories, and crafts

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

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Posted in Grief and Mourning, StoriesTagged death, death of parent, grief, grief counseling, memories, memory, mourning, short stories, stories to consoleLeave a Comment on A Daughter’s Memory

A Pencil Box and Child Awareness of Death

Posted on Wednesday, 25, May, 2022Wednesday, 25, May, 2022 by Rabbi

I was deep in thought at my office, preparing a lesson to be given that evening at a community center across town, when the telephone rang. A woman I had never met introduced herself and said that she was the mother of a seven-year-old and that she was dying. She said that her counselor had advised her that discussing her pending death with her son would be too traumatic for him, but somehow that didn’t feel right to her.

Knowing that I worked with grieving children, she asked my advice. I told her that our heart is often smarter than our brain and that I thought she knew what would be best for her son. I also invited her to attend the lesson that night since I was speaking about how children cope with death. She said she would be there.

In today’s society, death is a frightening topic to be avoided at all costs. It is banished from the psyches and the home, and placed firmly out of sight into hospital rooms, hospices, and funeral homes. The Angel of Death is an unwelcome visitor whose presence many try so hard to ignore. Many therapists and counselors sadly leave death and the topics surrounding it shrouded in dark, fearful mystery.

I wondered later if I would recognize the woman at the lesson, but my question was answered when I saw a weak woman being half carried into the room by two adults. I talked about the fact that children usually sense the truth long before they are told and that they often wait until they feel adults are ready to talk about it before sharing their concerns and questions. I said that children usually can manage truth better than denial, even though the denial is intended to protect them from pain. I said that respecting children meant including them in the family sadness through grieving and mourning, not shutting them out.

The woman had heard enough. At the break, she hobbled to the front of the room and through her tears she said, “l knew it in my heart. I just knew I should tell him.” She said that she would tell him that night.

The next morning, I received another phone call from her.

She could hardly talk but I managed to hear the story through her choked voice. She woke her son up when they got home from the lesson and quietly said, “David, I have something to tell you.” He quickly interrupted her saying, “Oh, Mommy, is it now that you are going to tell me that you are dying?” She held him close, and they both cried while she said, “Yes.”

Child Grief

After a few minutes, the little boy wanted to get down. He said that he had something for her that he had been saving. In the back of one of his drawers was an old pencil box. Inside the box was a letter written in simple scrawl. It said, “Good-bye, Mommy. I will always love you.

How long he had been waiting to hear the truth, I don’t know. I do know that two days later Mom died. In her casket was placed the old pencil box and a letter.

May your memories be a blessing that lead you to  shalom (Peace)

 For more grief and mourning resources for adults and children including prayers and meditations, Stories to Console, and activities for children

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

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Posted in Grief and Mourning, Spirituality, UncategorizedTagged child grief, death, grief, grief counseling, healing stories, inspirational stories, mourning, spiritual stories, stories to console.short storiesLeave a Comment on A Pencil Box and Child Awareness of Death

A Daughter’s Memory

Posted on Wednesday, 26, January, 2022Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

I was slowly eating breakfast at the college cafeteria when my father died on a remote trail, on the other side of the country.

He loved hiking trails and being outside, but I didn’t even know until two days later. With a busy class schedule and studying in the library I had forgotten to check my phone. When I finally managed to recharge my phone, I and saw all the missed calls and text messages.

My mother told me over the phone, such terrible news. I was so unprepared for such news. I am too young to be without a father, and yet here I sit so devastated.

My father lived through a war, was always willing to help others and taught people of all ages and yet he was gone.

All the answers to all the questions I hadn’t asked him yet, now lost forever, because I assumed he would always be there.

In my mind’s eye, I had seen him, old but never frail, many years from now, still ready whenever I needed him to console me, advise me, disapprove of my boyfriends. Instead, I found myself rushing back home, unable to stop the flow of tears that seemed to come without me even realizing it half the time.

I cried all the way back home, I cried my tears as meals were left untouched, I cried until it was time to say goodbye.

The sun was high in the sky, such a day that he would go hiking or fishing. I was so angry, it should have been raining, something to match the tears welling up in my eyes and so I cried some more.

Mourning Grief
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People gathered I had never seen before came to say goodbye, and I heard others crying for him. The casket was draped with a flag, some of his veteran friends came and gently folded it and gave it to me. I was numb and my heart was breaking. I was so glad for the many people that shared this sadness with me, it is so heavy upon my shoulders I needed others to carry me for a while.

In the time after we said our goodbyes, my emotions went from one place to another. At times, I was angry at him for leaving, even though he never wanted to leave. Mostly, I was angry at myself for letting slip past so many opportunities to spend time with him, learn from him, talk to him.

I would never get another chance to do so, but I can still hear him talk to me. I know what he would say when I was challenged by life, his voice now has more authority than ever, because I now realize that he was more often right than I would admit.

 

A thing like this breaks your heart. It is beyond words, something that cannot be explained unless you have been there yourself. No one can imagine the pain of losing someone you love, but reality surpasses all imagination, and how I wish it wasn’t so.

My father loved to cook and he would tell such stories at the table. Everyone would become lost in the magic he wove and the lessons of the stories that before you knew it, it was the wee hours of the morning and everyone wanted more.

He taught me to a lot, yet kept many secrets. His wisdom may live on in me and I try to be a better person. He was here and touched so many people and I want you to know he lives on in his stories.

May his stories bring you peace.

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Love, Spirituality, Stories, UncategorizedTagged death, Father, grief, grief counseling, loss of a loved one, memories, morning, short stories, stories to consoleLeave a Comment on A Daughter’s Memory

The Groom Who Was Destined to Die on His Wedding Day: A tale from the Beta Yisrael

Posted on Wednesday, 17, November, 2021Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

It is well known that babies cry from the moment they are born. Why? Because the angel in charge of birth tells them when they are destined to die. For a person’s fate is sealed from the time of his birth, and the circumstances of his death are already known.

Now one night, just as a baby was born, the angel told him, “You will die from a snake bite on the day of your wedding.” As soon as the baby heard this, he broke into loud cries. While most babies quickly forget what the angel told them, this baby remembered. As he began to speak, he told his parents what the angel had said. After that, his parents were afraid to let him marry, out of fear that he would die on the day of his wedding.

Ethiopian Jews

Years passed, the child grew, and his older brothers had all been married, and the young man also wanted to marry. He too wanted to marry, but every time he spoke to his parents, they discouraged him, reminding him of what the angel had said. The young man wanted the happiness of his married brothers and when his parents saw that he would not give up the idea of marriage, they approached a wise elder and asked for his advice. He told them: “Your son can marry on condition that you wrap him from head to foot in five sheep skins on the day of his wedding. And as you travel to the wedding be sure that his feet don’t touch the ground. Have his brothers carry him on a chair to his bride.”

So, it was that on the day of the wedding his parents wrapped the groom in five sheep skins, and his brothers carried him in a chair, so that his feet didn’t touch the ground. Then, as they traveled to the house of the bride, a huge poisonous snake, hidden in a tree, suddenly dropped down and bit the foot of the groom, but it couldn’t bite through the thick sheep skins that covered him. His brothers quickly killed the snake and buried it under a large stone. After that they took the groom down from the chair, unwrapped the sheep skins, and he continued to the house of the bride by foot. The wedding ceremony took place in peace, and the bride and groom returned to his village, and everyone was greatly relieved that he had survived.

Many years passed. The groom’s brothers aged and died, his own children grew old and died, and even his grandchildren died of old age, but he kept on living. He was so old he couldn’t speak, and he could barely stand. His descendants saw that he was suffering, but they didn’t know what they could do for him. So, they went to one of the wise men of that generation and told him the story of how he had escaped death on his wedding day.

The sage said to them: “I heard this story from my father. Because he escaped death when he was fated to die, he cannot die at all.”

His descendants said, “What are we going to do? He is so old and is suffering so much.”

The sage told them: “You must find the place where the snake was buried and take the dust from there and mix it with water and let the old man drink it. Only then will he be able to die.”

The groom’s descendants went back to the big stone where the snake was buried, and they took dust from beneath it and mixed it with water and let the old man drink it. And right after that, he died.

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Horror, Stories, Torah, Uncategorized, WomanTagged African tales, Beta Yisrael, death, Ethiopian Jews, Faith, Jewish Stories, short Jewish Stories, short storiesLeave a Comment on The Groom Who Was Destined to Die on His Wedding Day: A tale from the Beta Yisrael

The Righteous Are Delivered from Distress

Posted on Sunday, 17, October, 2021Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

There was once a pious man who was wealthy and of the king’s company. He had a handsome, fine-looking, and wise son. Before he passed away, he told his son not to leave the synagogue from the moment the cantor rose to pray and began to recite the Kaddish prayer until the whole service was over. Also, if somebody who had not been present were to rise and recite the evening prayer he should stay there until he had finished as well. The dying man added: “I have done this all my life and I have prospered. And if you pass through a city where there is a synagogue and you hear the cantor, enter and do not leave until he has finished his prayers.” Then the pious man passed away.

Now the son was well thought of by all who saw him. He served the king and was the wine bearer to the king and queen and sliced them their bread and meat. They loved him very much and praised him to the skies. The king’s vizier saw the favor in which the king and queen held the young man and envied him. He came to the king and said: “Your majesty, you have eyes yet you do not see that this young man loves the queen, and they betray you behind your back when they are together.” The king did not believe him, yet the vizier repeated it day after day until the king grew jealous.

Proverbs 11:8

One day the king went to inspect the workers who were preparing a limekiln, and he said to the master of the workers: “Take the first man who comes here tomorrow and fling him into the kiln at once. If you do not do so, you will pay for it with your own life.” “Your majesty,” answered he, “I shall obey your orders.” Then the king returned home. That night while the young man was serving him, he called him and ordered: “Rise early tomorrow morning and go where they are preparing the lime and tell the man in charge to make a great fire.” “I shall carry out your orders,” answered the young man.

In the morning he mounted his horse, but as he passed the synagogue he heard the cantor’s voice. He dismounted, entered the synagogue, and prayed. When the cantor had finished, another man who had not heard the prayers rose and began to pray, and he waited until he finished as well. And so he was delayed until it was broad daylight. Meanwhile, the king summoned his vizier and ordered him: “Go to the place where they are making the lime and ask the man in charge: Have you obeyed the king?” Then the vizier mounted his horse and rode off and asked the man in charge: “Have you obeyed the king’s orders?” Thereupon they seized him and tied him up and flung him into the kiln. The young man arrived just then and saw them flinging the vizier into the kiln, and he said to them: “If the king knows this, he will slay you.” But the man in charge answered: “Yesterday the king ordered me: ‘Take the first man I send to you tomorrow, and fling him into the kiln.’ And this is the man who came first.”

Then the young man returned to the king and said: “Your majesty, why did you order the vizier to be burned?” At this, the king shuddered and shook with astonishment and said to the youth: “Now I know that you are G-d-fearing, and your Creator loves you. This is what the vizier said about you and the queen. So I ordered that the man whom I first sent to the limekiln should be flung into the fire; and it was you I first ordered to go. After that I told the vizier to go and see whether my orders had been obeyed. But you were delayed, so they flung him in instead. Now I know that you are innocent.” That is as the Book of Proverbs declares (11:8): “The righteous is delivered from distress, and the wicked comes in his stead.”

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Prayer, Stories, UncategorizedTagged death, hatred, Jewish Stories, Proverbs 11:8, short Jewish Stories, short storiesLeave a Comment on The Righteous Are Delivered from Distress

Thoughts during a Funeral

Posted on Sunday, 10, October, 2021Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

Tam and Chacham attended a funeral together. Chacham observed that:

“We learn that we are to ‘Deal graciously with the departed that you may be dealt with graciously, mourn, bury and accompany them to the grave.’ (Kesubos 72a), yet many push and shove to get close to the coffin during a funeral so that they can take part in the mitzvah of carrying the deceased and helping to fill in the grave. In this way, they feel that they are doing something for the benefit of the deceased, even though it is as clear as day that even if they didn’t participate, the deceased would still be buried.’ “

“It is certainly a mitzvah to participate in these things, but why don’t people do something which will really benefit the deceased, even after the funeral is over? We have been taught by our holy teachers of the past that a person’s trial, along with the judgment that follows is decided after he is buried – so why don’t people learn from the Holy Writings or say Tehillim (Psalms) for the elevation of the soul of the deceased?”

Chesed Shel Emes

On another occasion, Tam added more on the same matter: “Some people who attend a funeral don’t feel so concerned when they listen to the eulogies. It is written, ‘“funeral orators are punished for delivering false eulogies,’ (Berachos 62a) Too many people think there is no need to be that upset over his death.’ “

”But should we not all be concerned about the trial and judgment that the niftar (deceased) will now be facing? Instead of standing around and exchanging greetings and gossip at the funeral, wouldn’t it be better to be saying Tehillim (Psalms) or thinking thoughts that will bring us to do teshuvah (repentance/retrospection) in order to help the tikkun hanefesh (repair of the soul) of the deceased? It would also be better if after the burial, people would not just go back home and forget about the funeral, thinking that it is over and there is nothing more that can be done. The correct thing would be to go home and pray, asking for the mercy of the Holy One, blessed be He so that the deceased will be spared from any harsh judgment that he might face. It is very important to remember to ‘walk reverently in a cemetery, blessed the deceased say: “tomorrow they will join us, and today they mock us. (Berachos 18a)’ “

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Stories, Tam and Chacham, UncategorizedTagged Berachos 18a, Berachos 62a, death, funeral, grief, Jewish funeral, Kesubos 72a, mourning, Tam and ChacamLeave a Comment on Thoughts during a Funeral

A Holy Woman’s Prayer for a Wagon Driver

Posted on Wednesday, 2, December, 2020Tuesday, 20, September, 2022 by Rabbi

Chava was a very holy woman and her husband was a well respected teacher in the village. One day, when passed the old wooden shul (synagogue) she saw members of the Chevra Kaddisha (Burial Society) rushing about. Chava was approached by a woman passerby and was asked,  “Haven’t you heard, Reb Yankl Balagoleh (the Wagon Driver) passed away?”

Chava was shocked and said “Baruch Dayan haEmes – Blessed is the True Judge – My dear friend, the holy Reb Yankl, is gone!” and she broke out in tears. People around her were surprised: Why was she so emotional? Was Reb Yankl related to her? Or was she close to him because she had spoken to him on occasion?

“Listen, my friends,” Chava responded, when they asked her about it, “and I’ll tell you why I’m so saddened by the death of that dear holy man Reb Yankl.”

People gathered closer to her to hear what she would say. “One day,” Chava began, “I ran out of firewood. I didn’t even have any wood chips to start a fire. My house was freezing cold. So I went to Reb Yankl Balagoleh and asked if he could please bring me a little wood? Without delaying for a minute, he immediately hitched his horse to the wagon, drove off to the forest, and before long brought back a wagonful of wood. I used the wood to warm my house and also the beis medresh (Torah study hall). In his merit, people sat and studied Torah and other holy books in a warm and pleasant place.”

“I remember another time when I had no water in my house on erev Shabbos. I couldn’t cook for Shabbos without water. To whom did I go? To Reb Yankl. When I asked him to please get me some water, he didn’t wait or delay for a moment; he immediately hitched his horse to his wagon and quickly brought a barrelful of water to my house!”

After telling this to the people around her, the holy holy woman lifted her eyes to heaven and said:

“Ribbono Shel Olam, Master of the world, may it be Your will that every little chip of that wagonful of wood be a defending angel for Reb Yankl in heaven. And may every drop from that barrelful of water be a great merit for him, to plead for him and support him in the Upper World!”

Job 33:23

Later, when Chava’ husband came to the synagogue, his students told him what wife had said about Reb Yankl. The young man said, “Now you know that my wife has ruach ha-kodesh [the holy spirit], because I tell you, when Reb Yankl died, I heard them saying in the Heavenly Court exactly what she said just now.”

 

A holy woman like Chava has compassionate eyes that can see the greatness of even a simple person. Reb Yankl was not a Torah scholar, but he was ready to help a needy fellow human without delay. The holy woman, who appreciated the holiness and goodness of a humble wagon driver, called him a “tsaddik (a saint).”

A pious person like Chava does not forget a favor. Judaism cultivates one’s feelings of gratitude and deepens one’s appreciation of goodness. The holy woman remembered Reb Yankl’s kind deeds and pleaded for him before the Heavenly Throne. She was on a spiritual level to be a defending angel for others before the Heavenly Court.

Her holy husband, shared that “If there should be for one of them an angel, a mediator, one of a thousand, one who declares a person upright (Job 33:23) then indeed his holy wife Chava could call to the Heavenly host through her prayer.”

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Rachmiel Tobesman is a motivational speaker and Maggid (spiritual Storyteller). He is available for speaking engagements or storytelling, Click here to contact us

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

If the stories are not shared they will be lost.

Please share this story with others

Chanukah

The Season of Lights – Chanukah is coming very quickly as it begins at Sundown on December 10, 2020. Most people in the Jewish communities throughout the world can rattle off a list of Chanukah traditions such as lighting the menorah each night; playing dreidel games; eating foods cooked in oil (latkes and Sufganiot); and exchanging gifts.

An age old tradition is telling stories in the glow of the Chanukah menorah. The stories tell of greatness, nobility, and wisdom while at the same time raising the hopes for a better tomorrow.

The very backdrop to the spiritual stories is attractive to its readers allowing one to peek into the beliefs, and lifestyles of a vanishing age of a faraway world and reminding them that the messages are eternal – just as strong today as they were yesterday.

The book, Story Tour: The Journey Begins will remind readers of forgotten stories of faith that strengthen and reaffirm hope for a better world.

Buy a copy of Story Tour: The Journey Begins as a gift for someone special today. Story Tour: The Journey Begins is available from the publisher, Xlibris, Booksamillion, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon

Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, justice, Other Stories and thoughts, Prayer, Stories, Uncategorized, Woman, WomanTagged Burial Society, Chevra Kaddisha, death, Holy Spirit, Jewish funeral, Job 33:23, Prayer, ruach ha-kodesh, short stories, woman, woman’s prayerLeave a Comment on A Holy Woman’s Prayer for a Wagon Driver

The Worth of Kaddish

Posted on Monday, 2, September, 2019Wednesday, 21, September, 2022 by Rabbi

A very wealthy woman adopted the custom of donating money to the yeshivah (rabbinical school, Jewish seminary), on the condition that someone there recite Kaddish (a prayer recited by close relatives of a deceased person) for the souls of those who had no one to say it for them. The rabbis of the yeshivah appointed one of the students to recite Kaddish for those departed souls.

After some time the woman’s husband passed away and his business suffered greatly without his leadership. Things became so bad, that the wealthy woman was forced to close the business down.  Without an income, her wealth soon disappeared.  As time passed, she was faced with a new problem. Her two daughters had reached marriageable age, but she had no money for their dowries?

The mother and her daughters gave up a lot and accepted their hardships, but there was one thing that the woman was not willing to allow.  The saying Kaddish must not stop just because she could no longer donate money to the yeshivah. In great bitterness of spirit, she turned to the rabbis of the yeshivah, pleading with them to continue the Kaddish custom until her fortune turned and she would once again be able generously donate as she did in the past.

The rabbis of the yeshivah, moved by the widow’s sincerity, agreed to do as she asked. The promise filled her with great happiness. She left the yeshivah and started for home with a light heart. Her poverty did bother her so much as she felt that as long as Kaddish would be said, she felt she lacked nothing in this world. She decided that she would place her trust in the Holy One, blessed be He would help her find a way to care for the needs of her two daughters. She whispered a prayer that the merciful Father of Orphans and the Compassionate Judge of Widows would surely see their poverty and supply them with suitable bridegrooms and all their needs.

One day, as the woman stepped out into the street, she saw an elderly Jewish man coming towards her.  His beard was full and white, and his face shone with a special brightness.  She was startled by the warm greeting from the strange old man. The woman was taken aback when the old man began talking to her about her situation and that of her daughters.

The woman told the old man about her fall from wealth to poverty, to the point that she lacked the means with which to marry off her daughters.

“How much do you think you need for their wedding expenses?” the old man asked.

“Why are you concerned?” she asked. “With all due respect, why do you wish to know?”

The man old man asked her again about wedding expenses and the woman reluctantly gave him an estimate. The old man tore a page from his notebook and wrote instructions to the local bank to pay her the amount she needed.

Since this was a very large sum of money, he suggested to the astonished widow, it was preferable that the note be signed in the presence of witnesses. They would see with their own eyes that he was signing over the money, and would add their own signatures to that effect.

Shocked and shaken, the widow went to the yeshivah to ask that two students witness the old man’s signature on the check. After signing the check, he handed the check to the woman with instructions to cash it at the bank the next morning.

The widow was confused and tried to understand why the old man had, a complete stranger, saw fit to pay all the wedding expenses for her two daughters?

The next morning the widow went to the bank to cash the check. When the bank clerk read the check, he stared at the widow in amazement. He looked at the check again, then again at the widow. In some confusion, he asked her to wait. Check in hand, he went into the manager’s office.

The bank manager took one look at the check and fainted. A sense of distress and confusion erupted throughout the bank. The clerks, hearing of the incident, hustled the widow into a small room and stood guard over her to make certain she did not leave. Clearly, something was wrong.

When the manager regained his composure, he demanded to see the woman who had brought in the check. She stood before him, trembling, as the bank manager demanded an accounting of how she had come by the check.

“I received it just yesterday from a very respectable elderly Jewish man. There were two witnesses to his signature, too,” she fearfully offered.

“Would you be able to identify the man who gave you the check, if you saw a picture of him?” the manager asked.

“Of course I could, and I have no doubt that the two yeshivah students who witnessed his signature could identify him as well.”

The manager reached into his desk and pulled out a small worn picture.

“Yes!” The woman beamed. “That’s the man. He’s the one who so generously gave me the check.”.

Slowly, the manager turned to his clerks. “Give this woman the money,” he ordered. “And then let her go.”

It was only after the widow had left that the bank manager slowly told those present what had happened.

“The man who gave that woman the check,” he said, “was my father who passed away 10 years ago. Last night, he appeared in a dream and told me these words: ‘Know this. Since you turned away from the faith of your family and stopped reciting Kaddish for me, my soul found no rest until this woman, this widow, came and arranged that Kaddish be said for those who have no one to say it for them. The Kaddish they said for me in the yeshivah, on that woman’s instructions, led to peace for my troubled soul.’

‘”Tomorrow morning, this woman will appear in your bank with a check that I have given her to cover her daughters’ wedding expenses.”

“When I woke up this morning, I was shaken by the dream. I described it to my wife, who just laughed.  When the woman appeared with the check, I realized that the dream had come true.”

The bank manager’s life was never the same. He repented and found his way back into the ways of the Jewish faith.

Our brothers, who practice kindness, sons of people who practice kindness, about whom it says, “I have given him [Abraham] special attention so that he will command his children and his household after him… to do charity and justice” (Genesis 18:19). May G-d, the Master who repays, reward you for your kindness. Blessed are You, G-d, who repays kind deeds.

Kesubos 8b

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

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Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Rabbi's thoughts and teaching, Stories, UncategorizedTagged charity, death, grief, jewish death, kaddish, mourning, Rabbi Rock, Rachmiel Tobesman, tzedakahLeave a Comment on The Worth of Kaddish

A Pendant of Memories

Posted on Wednesday, 30, January, 2019Wednesday, 21, September, 2022 by Rabbi

All was quiet except the sound of a soft breeze. A young boy maybe thirteen stared outside into the endless night sky. Although the boy’s eyes stared at the night his mind was far far away.

All he could think about was his mother, her long red hair, her smile, even the tone of her voice when she told him stories of magical places and great heroes. Suddenly, he noticed something moving outside. It came closer and closer, it looked like his mother. The boy torn with grief had hope for the first time in weeks and did what any curious boy one would do, he ran towards the ghost, sneaking slowly out of the window.

He finally walked so close to the image that he could almost touch it, but felt nothing. The sadness rushed in and his body began to slowly shake as he started to cry to himself. “Why?! Why did you have to die!” The boy screamed in agony, he wished he could hug her, and hear her soothing voice. But nothing happened, he sat there in silence on his knees, tears slowly falling from his eyes. “It’s all my fault! If I had only….” A wave of thought and pain washed over the grief stricken boy.

His heart ached, a mental rather than physical pain, all he wished for was his mother, nothing more. His memory stretched backwards to days of when he was three years old, he remembered his mother carrying him through a fair filled with living legends of kings, queens and nobleman.

Another memory popped into his mind, he remembered when his best friend moved away and he feared he never see him again. His mother sat there stroking his hair saying it would be alright. Soon his beautiful memories vanished as a puff of smoke as his chest began to hurt. Longing just to be with her one more time.


Mourning Grief

The young boy breathed deeply trying to stop the tears from flowing, it worked for a few minutes. Then he started to feel very depressed, feeling guilty, sad and grief struck through him like a sword.

Stew slopped into the large bowl that he held in front of him. The boy pressed his hand to his mouth, nearly vomiting. He quietly sat down next to his cousins. They sat there eating the food, talking and laughing, the boy tried to join them.

Soon he finished the stew and continued to his room to just lie in his bed. Something was different, he looked at his pillow, and on it was a pendant with the words “carpe diem” (“seize the day) on it. His mother had given it to him when he was worried about a sick friend. How? When? He looked around looking at his cousins. Looking at the pendant, the boy began to accept his mother’s death and realized its okay to be happy about somethings and memories.

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

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Posted in Faith, Grief and Mourning, Rabbi's thoughts and teaching, Stories, UncategorizedTagged child grief, death, funeral, grief, mourning, Rabbi Rock, Rachmiel TobesmanLeave a Comment on A Pendant of Memories

The Funeral of Yossele di Shiker Shneider of Częstochowa

Posted on Monday, 26, November, 2018Wednesday, 21, September, 2022 by Rabbi

Why was the holy temple in Jerusalem destroyed by the Romans? The answer is quite simple, the Jewish people hated each other without reason.

Why do we hate other people? Because we think we know everything about them — who they are, why they do what they do. Parents think, “These are my children, so I know what’s going on with them.” But sadly enough, much of the time we’re totally wrong…

We so misjudge each other. That’s why the Torah says that if we hate people, or even if we’re only angry — we have to try to find a way to tell them, to talk to them about it. Because really, it might only be a misunderstanding.

Sometimes we meet people who seem to us a little bit crude, a little bit impure — certainly not holy. So we want to ignore and shun them. Sadly, the truth is, we have no idea what a person might be doing when we’re not looking. The rabbis teach us that, even when we see others doing wrong, we have to believe that in the inside of their insides they’re really the holy and deserving of the gifts of heaven.

Everybody is created in G-d’s Image. What does this mean? That just as G-d is so hidden and mysterious — just as we can’t see G-d — so too we can’t really know what’s going on in the depths of other people. And unless we love them with all our hearts, we’ll never know…So we have to remember: don’t ever judge. Because you never know…

Tailor Yiddish

Many years ago, in the city of Częstochowa, the Jewish people were good and tried their best to keep Shabbos (the Sabbath day) and ate only kosher food. They all prayed three times a day. The tailor, the schneider Yossele never went to the synagogue or to buy kosher meat. He never joined others in their community gatherings. The only place people ever saw him was in the local inn late at night, drunk. So Yossele was a total outcast.

Sadly, if people’s clothes were torn they had to go to him; after all, he was the only tailor in town. Other than that, nobody ever spoke to him. And nobody cared about him at all.

One day, after the morning prayers, the holy rabbi of Częstochowa saw that a crowd of people had gathered in a corner of the shul. The chevra kadisha (burial society) was trying to gather some people together for something, but nobody wanted to join. The holy rabbi hurried over: “What’s going on here?”

The leader of the chevra kadisha looked embarrassed. “It’s nothing, holy rabbi. Don’t bother yourself about it.”

The rabbi insisted: “Tell me. I want to know.”

“Well … it’s just that that disgusting Shiker Shneider (drunken Jewish tailor), and he was really the lowest of the low — died today, and nobody wants to go to the funeral.”

The holy rabbi stared at the chevra kadisha. “I didn’t know there were any disgusting Jewish people in Częstochowa,” he said coldly. “Just who in our city is considered so unworthy that no one will do the mitzvah of accompanying him to his final resting place?”

So they told him, “Yossele the di Shiker Shneider…”

The holy rabbi turned very pale. The people around him were afraid he might faint. To everybody’s amazement, he started crying from the deepest depths of his heart. “I can’t believe it,” he sobbed. .. My dearest friend, the tailor, has left the world!

What time is his funeral? I, for one, will certainly be there…”

Word quickly spread throughout Częstochowa that the holy rabbi was going to the funeral of Yossele the schneider Now, everybody knew that the rabbi never went to a funeral unless it was for a tzaddik, a holy man. So many began to think maybe Yossele hadn’t been just a tailor; he had been a lamed-vov tzaddik, one of the thirty-six hidden holy people. And suddenly everybody wanted to go to his funeral.

So the Jewish community of Częstochowa turned out for Yossele’s funeral. Everybody was praying, “Tailor, please forgive us for the way we talked about you. We didn’t know you were so holy… Schneider, please bless us…” The mothers were begging, “Holy Yossele, please pray for our children … please bless my daughter so she can get married to a good husband…” Everyone was crying. The holy rabbi walked right behind the casket, with big tears rolling down his holy cheeks.

Many young students of the holy rabbi also went to the funeral. They remained quiet and paid their respects, but after the funeral was over he went up to their holy teacher and asked, “Rabbi, what’s going on here? The tailor was just a simple man, maybe even a little bit sinful. So tell us the truth. Why did you mourn him so much? What did he do to deserve such a funeral?”

“My students, we know so little about other people. Let me tell you the story…”

Do you remember the orphan girl, Feigele, who grew up in my house? My wife and I adopted her when she was only a baby, and took care of her like she was our own daughter. Well, six months ago she was ready to get married. So we arranged a match for her with another orphan — a good boy, from a nearby city. We borrowed money from every single person we know to make her a beautiful wedding. The wedding was a few weeks ago. And just minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start, Feigele’s groom came running up to me and said, “Rabbi, there’s something you forgot! You didn’t buy me a new tallis, a new prayer shawl.” You know, it’s the custom for the bride to give her groom a new prayer shawl.

I said, “You’re right. But please have mercy! I just can’t get you a new prayer shawl right now. A tallis costs ten rubles, and not only don’t I have a single kopek left — I don’t even know anybody I can borrow the money from. Let me get it for you in a few weeks.”

The groom began to cry. “Rabbi,” he begged. “Everybody will laugh at me if I don’t have a new tallis.”

I knew he was right. And he had nobody else in the world but me. How could I refuse him? So I said, “Okay, I’ll do my best. Wait here, maybe G-d will open the gates for me.”

I started walking down the street, trying to think of someone — anyone — from whom I could get the money for the tallis. I didn’t know where to go or what to do, so I decided that I’d just go up to the first house with a light on and ask for the money. As I walked, I saw a light in a window, so I just went right up to the house and knocked on the door. It was the tailor’s house.

Tallit

When Yossele opened the door and saw me standing there, his face lit up with joy. “Rabbi, I never dreamed you’d come to visit me. It’s such an honor … I know I don’t deserve it … thank you for coming. You know, I’d do anything for you…”

“Gentle tailor, You know, the orphan Feigele is getting married tonight. And I need ten rubles to buy a new prayer shawl for her groom.”

The tailor’s face fell. “Oy, Rabbi,” he almost whispered. “I wish I could help you, but you know how poor I am.” And I did know. Then he said slowly “But, I think I could give you one ruble.”

I smiled at him. “Schneider,” I said. “Thank you so much for whatever you can do. May the Master of the World bless you with everything.”

The tailor gave me the one ruble, and I left. I still didn’t know where to get the rest of the money but somehow I felt lighter. I had so much more hope. I was walking slowly down the street, wondering where else to go, when suddenly I heard someone running after me. I stopped and waited. It was the tailor. And as he came up beside me, I saw that he was crying like his heart was broken.

“Yossele!,” I exclaimed. “What hurts you so much? How can I help you?”

“Rabbi, G-d knows how poor I am. But from time to time I’ve managed to save a few kopeks, and now I have nine rubles that I have saved. Holy Master, it’s my whole life’s savings. But if I gave it all to you … if I gave you all of my money now … do you think…” and he started crying so hard he could hardly speak. “… Do you think that I might … that maybe I could … have a place in the World to Come?”

I put my hands on Yossele’s head, and I said, “Holy Tailor, I know how poor you are, I really do. But Feigele is waiting, her groom is waiting — for them every minute is an eternity. If you do this great mitzvah and give all your money to me now, it will be because of you that their wedding will take place. And I swear to you by the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, by the G-d of our Four Holy Mothers, that you will have a place in the World to Come…”

“And so, I went to Yossele’s funeral. And I cried as I walked behind his coffin. Because I could see that his soul was wrapped in the tallis he had bought with his last ten rubles for the groom of the orphan Feigele.”

Peace Dove

You know, we think we’re so observant. We trust so much in what we see. But the truth is, if we only see with our eyes, we’re sometimes totally blind. Because we can’t penetrate to the deepest depths. Can we ever see in what kind of prayer shawl other people’s souls are wrapped?

We need to look at each other in a different way, not only with our eyes, but also with our hearts. And most of all we have to remember: no matter how wise we think we are, we never know.

May all your tales end with Shalom (peace)

Click here for more storytelling resources

Grief and Mourning resources for adults and children including thoughts and meditations, stories, and crafts

Tell it to your children, and let your children tell it to their children, and their children to the next generation. (Joel 1:3)

Please share this story with family and friends and let us know what you think or feel about the stories in a comment or two. Like us on Facebook or tweet us on Twitter

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Posted in Ahavas Yisro-l, Derech Eretz, Faith, Grief and Mourning, Prayer, Rabbi's thoughts and teaching, Stories, teshuvah, UncategorizedTagged benefit if the doubt, charity, death, Rabbi Rock, Rachmiel Tobesman, tzedakahLeave a Comment on The Funeral of Yossele di Shiker Shneider of Częstochowa

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